shaunisaac (shaunisaac) wrote,

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It's been awhile, it truly has. This aching feel I have on the inside of me has come back home, to the place where it belonged to in the first place. It has been almost a year now since a disastrous ending that resulted in so much chaos and destruction, to the point that there seemed to be no hope. The aftermath of which caused so much confusion and instability in my life, to the point that there seemed no point of return. 

Seeking out those same feelings I once had for someone I truly cared about seemed to not exist anymore. It was as if no one could even come close to replicating those feelings I once shared. I made mistakes, too plenty to even count. I did things I regretted, even up till today. The past will always come back to haunt me in some form or another, and all I can truly do is to cast those thoughts to the back of my mind. We can never fully erase what we have done, all we can do is to let it go and to move on with our lives. 

I've ran and I've hid, only searching in hope that one day I could find someone who would bring definition to my life. To find that someone who would bring meaning. 

Isn't that what we have all been searching for all along? 

We look and we hope with earnest in our hearts that we would find that special someone once again. Not in a bid to replace the old but in the hope we can forge something new. All we can do is to create a new adventure, a new journey together. Not with just anyone, but with the one we truly know is different from the rest, the one that makes your heart soft when you see them.

I never understood the definition of "not being good enough" and yes, while we are all flawed human beings and the things we do, the mistakes we make might portray different perspectives, isn't that what makes us human? How can a person justify whether or not they are good enough? By the things that they do, by the words that they say or even by the thoughts that they think? Like I said, our flaws are what makes us human. 

It's funny how the person standing in the mirror can sometimes never truly see what is good in themselves. Maybe that is how we are wired up on the inside, maybe that is how we should think. However, there will come a day when someone will step out of the darkness and into the light that is our lives. They will come and give us a new meaning and a new purpose. We see things in them that we searched for all this while but never found, only to see it in them. 

The smile that they bring to our faces whenever we see them, someone that is different from what you've seen. When you talk there seems to be a connection and you never run out of things to say. To be able to keep the conversation going into the wee hours of the morning not wanting it to end. It's funny how the simplest of things that he/she does can light up our lives. It's just them. 

Time will truly tell if the person we think we've found is who we think they are. The best case would be that yes, they were everything we truly wanted. Time will always for certain, play a huge role in everything. To see whether it is just an infatuation, to whether or not a person truly means what they say is all up to time. Time will tell and I hope when I look back at this post, that my choice was right. That what my sixth sense and gut feeling that told me was true. 

You're amazing in every little way but you might not see it. You bring new meaning to my life but you can't see it. Seeing your smile now means everything to me, and all I can and truly want to do is to light your world. To show you that you deserve something more in life, and not how the past has treated you. There is no hurry, there is no rush. We've got time on our side. When the time comes and you're ready to fly, I'll take your hand and never let go. 

You're THAT special. 
Tags: amazing, girl, special

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